Anatomy of a Night from Hell

Last night started out just fine... after a day of skating and a nice dinner with the cousins, we hit the sack at a reasonable hour (10:00!) and drifted off into merry slumber. Sometime after that it all went off the rails.

Midnight - Baby Girl stirs. The Lovely Wife gets up to replace soother and/or see what's up. One or both of the boys are moaning in their sleep.

0100: Five and Six take turns moaning in their sleep. Bad dreams? 

0224:  I wake to the sound of the gate banging closed over and over, just outside our corner of the house. TLW informs me it's been doing that for half an hour and that she's had almost no sleep so far. I put on my boots, grab a flashlight, and hope I don't encounter any snacking raccoons as I pass by the compost on my way to close the jammed latch on the gate.

0250: Six exhibits signs of influenza (read: runs to the bathroom and barfs.) Aside: I'm glad that I have at least one of my children trained to run for the toilet when feeling queasy.

0300: Six is once again purging. By now we're at the mostly-dry heave stage. Yay.

0330: Snowplows driving up and down the neighbourhood streets. Evidently the inch dusting of snow we've received overnight (is it still overnight at this point?) requires an army of trucks scraping and salting the streets. Ah, taxes. They are seemingly endless.

0400: Six is still going at it. We give him some childrens' gravol and decide to move Five out of the shared bedroom and into our bed. Baby Girl has stirred again, and we hope she doesn't have any ideas about getting up for the day.

0415: TLW moves out of our bed and onto the couch. I attempt sleep beside a snoring, but thankfully not barfing, Five.

Somewhere after that I drift off, until...

0530: Six is again sprinting for the bathroom. Baby Girl is chirping happily in her crib. Five is snoring still. At this point, the day has begun. TLW hits the shower in hopes of getting to work, I grind some beans for coffee (really, what damage could I do with a loud coffee grinder at this point?) and offer myself up to a day of challenges, including the possibility that someone else in the house could be flu-ridden by the end of the day.

Now it's 0755. Cartoons are on. One child is ready for a nap, an hour and a half ahead of schedule. This can't end well.

Post Script: After taking Five and Baby Girl out for a brief sleigh ride and driveway-clearing party, most everyone is in better spirits. Even the dry heaver hasn't done the 10 metre sprint for over an hour now.

Fingers crossed. (But feel free to send saltines and gatorade.)

Posted bythemikestand at 8:34 AM  

6 stepped up to the mike:

Steph said... 9:31 AM, January 31, 2011  

The Mogrunt puked ON me when he had the flu. I'm looking forward to the day when he can get to toilet himself.

Brianna said... 9:35 AM, January 31, 2011  

all this and you wrote a blog post complete with witty comments? I'd call you superdad but I don't think wit gets you very far with the dad appreciation society.

sarah doow said... 1:52 PM, January 31, 2011  

I was once the apple of the school caretaker's eye for making it in all the way from the playground to the toilet before heaving up my lunch.
Here's to less moaning, barfing and being awake during the night. And to not being eaten by raccoons.

Megan said... 3:11 PM, January 31, 2011  

Wow. Glad it's you and not me. And I hate to burst your bubble, but I wouldn't bet money on that whole "I'm glad that I have at least one of my children trained to run for the toilet when feeling queasy." thing. I managed to puke all over the wall next my bed when I was about 11 I think it was. have fun!

bethany actually said... 5:05 PM, January 31, 2011  

Oh, urgghhh. I hope everyone's still healthy and feeling better tomorrow! And here's to a better night's sleep for you all tonight.

Trish McCourt said... 8:30 AM, February 01, 2011  

Oh the joy! Count your blessings, at least you and TLW weren't also running for the bathroom. THAT is SO NOT fun!
I hope today is a better day.
I am now home with one feverish girly with stomach pain... :()

Post a Comment