My interview with Randomaccessbabble's Brianna

As indicated in the previous post, I'm starting an interview feature on this here blob. One of my resolutions was to involve other people more, or at least give them a little credit as influences and favourites of mine, or maybe just to make them work a little harder for their imaginary paycheck.

The first interview is one Brianna from If you haven't been over to Brianna's site, I encourage you to go over and be educated in the ways of gaming, food, boys, bargain shopping, and the general idiocy of certain parts of American society. She even received a nod from TIME Magazine, which you should totally ask her about.

Brianna and I actually go way back (14 years is way back, right?) and have met in person on several occasions (twice). We supported each other in the early days of online journaling and served as each other's go-to commenter and biggest fan. I'm pleased to have her as my first. Interview.


Tell us a little about your little corner of the internet.

I have this blog where I write about whatever I feel like because I am a wild animal who cannot be restrained by rules or guidelines. That said, I'm pretty much only interested in bitching about bad dates, my breasts and television programs where there is a 75% chance that someone will get bitch slapped.

If you had to compare your blog to the human life cycle, where would it be? Do you feel like it's in its infancy, it's adolescence, or gaining momentum in adulthood?

My blog, much like my life, will always be 15 years old. It's all about the angst.

What keeps you blogging? Tell us what you get the greatest satisfaction from, and what motivates you most.

Ego. Also I'm a huge attention whore.

I get the greatest satisfaction from people telling me how funny I am – being funny is one of my main life goals right after winning.

Who, if anyone, do you consider your mentors? (In my world, they don't even have to know they're mentoring you.)

Chuck Klosterman is my writer hero. I constantly wish that everything I wrote was half as well done as the essays that he seems to spew out in his sleep (seriously, that dude is prolific). I guess he's not my mentor mostly because every time I ask him for advice he just babbles on and on about sexual harassment and restraining orders. I think he probably needs a vacation, I hear my bed is nice this time of year.

Fill in the blanks: Sometimes I________. But it's okay, because _______.

Sometimes I can't think of anything to write about. But it's ok because when that happens I just take pretty pictures of food and pretend eating cookies counts as creative expression.

Imagine this situation: You're at a party or gathering with people your age, but you don't know many of them. You strike up a conversation with someone. What are the chances that you'll mention your blog?

95%. It's all about rocking the personal brand. (I can't believe I just stole that line from a friend who I think I may have mocked the first 3 times he said it in front of me). I only avoid mentioning it in the following scenarios:

1. The person I'm talking to already seems crazy enough that I know I will begin mocking them on the blog AS SOON AS THEY STOP TALKING

2. The person seems crazy enough that they might stalk me but unfortunately is not hot enough for me to be excited about this prospect. (This is really just an extension of (1) since I would obviously have no choice but to also mock this person on the blog while bemoaning their ugliness.)

What do you see as the major hope for the future of blogging?


I really don't think about blogging in a change the future kind of way – not even in a change *my* future kind of way. Most of the bloggers out there seem to consider blogging a step down a writing career path and while I certainly would not say no to money in exchange for my entering snarky commentary into a web page (Seriously, call me.) I think of it as more of a hobby. I find it odd that people occasionally ask me about my hopes/plans for the blog – if I was into some other hobby, say, sailing, people wouldn't expect me to have goals beyond "get better at sailing, get a tan, hopefully use my boat to get laid." How is blogging different than sailing (aside from the lesser chance of getting laid)?

How's that for hijacking your question?

Conversely, what could signal the beginning of its demise?

I try really hard to write about things. It appears that I might be the only person on the internet with this goal. I'm not sure if things like one line posts on the topic of how much you hate your garbage man are really the demise of blogging (I suspect many people consider this the APEX of blogging) but I sometimes worry that they do signal the demise of writing.

What do you have in store for your readers in the coming year?

Well I'll likely continue to fuck up lots of potential relationships, be outraged by the general inefficiency of life and willing to attend and write about any event involving free food, public nudity or scavenger hunts. Also with the writer's strike there are bound to be some truly atrocious reality TV shows to fascinate/piss me off.

I've often considered using my blog in some sort of elaborate dating plot, like agreeing to go out with anyone who submits a "Date Me!" application via my blog. If I implement this plan in the coming year I'll likely have my face plastered on the front pages of newspapers the world over under the headline "Female Blogger Found Dead: She Pretty Much Asked for It." Think about how fun it will be to say you read me back before the fame (and death).

Give us a picture of yourself? (asl plz?)

This is the best picture ever taken of me and my ass:

[Ed. note: I made sure to question whether this was the actual picture she wanted posted, and she was adamant that this was indeed her intentions. To wit:

me: You want me to post the ASS picture??!

Brianna: [redacted] yes. Come on. That is the best picture EVER.

My ass looks amazing. I need that shit documented.

me: My MOTHER reads this blog (okay, that's a lie.)

Brianna: People need to know Mike.

me: I should blog this exchange, too.

Brianna: This is a public service.

Thank you Brianna!

Posted bythemikestand at 6:48 PM  

3 stepped up to the mike:

lfar said... 10:24 AM, February 07, 2008  

it IS a very good ass picture... I must say

Anonymous said... 11:37 AM, February 07, 2008  

:) Snicker.

This post kicks so much ass. Well, in this case spanks it with what looks like a ping pong paddle.

Nevertheless. Well done.

doow said... 1:43 PM, February 07, 2008  

Brianna should have that ass picture as her masthead.

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