A recipe for airborne success

Ingredients:

3 bags Goldfish crackers (extreme cheddar or flavour blasted. None of that "pizza" crap.)
2 bunches grapes (red or green)
1 box granola bars (peanut-free, natch)
2 peanut butter sandwiches
2 cream cheese sandwiches
2 packages crayons
2 colouring books
2 personal DVD players
8 DVDs (preferably with Dora in lead or supporting role)
2 gravol (optional -- but seriously, consider it.)

Melt all meltable ingredients. Stir in other nonmeltables. Allow to cool and cut into squares. Chase liberally with tiny bottles of scotch, vodka, or whatever is left on the cart. Turn on DVD player. Relax.

Yes, folks. We're going on a plane! For eight hours! With a three-and-a-half year old! And with a nearly-two-year-old! Who won't have a seat of his own because, holy hell, two year olds don't need $800 seats!?

Christmas #1, that is, the Christmas featuring The Grandma will be happening in the first week of December, which suits me just fine. Out of the three Christmases that Younger Son has been alive for, only the middle one actually happened on Christmas Day (he was born on the 24th of December, so that year the Big Day happened on the 26th). Not that it matters much to a kid that age -- heck, this year he'll have two birthdays and two Christmases; given the type of gifts the little guy likes, it will surely feel like Dora moved in for the entire holiday season*. So other than the most excellent time they'll have adjusting to a three time-zone change (HALP. SENDS KOFFEE PLZ.), the boys should have a grand time of getting fed cake and candy canes for breakfast, or whatever devilish plans The Grandma has in store for them. Personally, I'm looking forward to the local beef and the perogies and the
Stawnichy's sausage -- I probably haven't mentioned the polish side of my family, eh?

As for the gravol in the ingredients list above, I make no promise that it will be used at all, or that I would consider using it on either child. Heck, it may be a race to see which adult gets to it first. Just in case, I'm carving a tiny pill into the shape of a button and sewing it on my shirt as we speak. I'm all espionagey like that. Odds are that Older Son will have Treehouse plugged into his veins (and his earphones) for the duration of the ride (thank you, West Jet!) and Younger Son will be superglued to the go-to gal, his mother. Then again, he's so darn cute that we might just get away with sending him up and down the aisles to entertain all the other passengers. What? People don't like that?

Somewhere through the first week of December, we'll celebrate Christmas (complete with Irish Coffees, a "Christmas Morning" tradition I have not yet been able to adapt to "Weekend"), a 2nd birthday, and hopefully the success of flying a 3 year old and a two year old across the country without anyone suffering unduly. And without breaking the bank, because flying before Younger Son's second birthday, coupled with outrageous holiday flight prices around the Big Day means that we're flying for $2,000 instead of $4,000 (Cue sound of frying pan connecting with cranium). Here's hoping that WestJet will give us an empty seat for Younger Son to occupy for the long flight. I wonder if I could arrange to get the 4th seat somewhere else in the plane?** Probably too much to ask.

"Excuse me, Ma'am. The gentleman in Row 32 would like to buy you another Caesar."

Nah. She'd never go for it.

Next year, The Grandma comes east. It's just easier on everyone. Santa and Dora are with me on this.



* Aside: I've read so many Dora books in the past three months, I can no longer remember what the actual voice of the little Mexican girl sounds like on the Nick Jr program. By my own fuzzy recollection, she sounds a little like me, but with slightly better pronunciation. Also, my youngest doesn't know the English word for 'paraguas'. [sigh]

** Still haven't ruled out the option of buying Younger Son a seat on the way back. But $800 better buy us a hell of a lot of good behaviour.

Posted bythemikestand at 2:22 PM  

4 stepped up to the mike:

The Ninja Knitter said... 4:19 PM, November 28, 2007  

FYI, kids don't get jet lag. Enjoy!

Alison said... 4:21 PM, November 28, 2007  

We flew westjet when The Boy was 18 month. They were very good about trying to get us an extra seat, and did manage on two of the 4 flights. Do westjet actually have treehouse now? We ended up buying a portable dvd player once he was old enough for his own seat--best invention you can get for $150! Good luck.

Steph said... 9:42 AM, November 29, 2007  

Wow - good luck with the flight. Is there a chance you can keep the two of them up packing 'til the wee hours the night before? I find this really helps me sleep through a flight. Hee hee. I can see them now, throwing in a last pair of tiny jeans and calling it a night.

cronznet said... 5:38 PM, November 29, 2007  

Our son began his flying adventures when six months old and has honestly never been a problem. The personal DVD player is ab-so-lute-ly the key now that he is older.
And beware drugs--our boy gets hyper with the supposed drowsy-making stuff. If it isn't something you've used before, don't experiment at 30,000 feet.
Seriously, nice seeing you here during NaBloPoMo and I hope the trip and vacation are fabulous!

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