Make-Out Barbie never got this much action

Another observation from the wedding we attended over the weekend: The art of Making the Happy Couple Kiss. Gone are the days of tinkling on (not in) one's glass with the nearest piece of flatware until the entire ballroom joins in and the newlyweds acquiesce and, throughout the night have their dinner interrupted so many times that they progress from peck-on-the-cheek to an official tongue wrestling match and grandma and the Reverend are diving under the table, averting their eyes. Nowadays, you're as likely to see some alternate form of prompting the forced face-sucking, such as reciting romantic  poetry, singing songs, telling cute (read: embarrassing) stories about the couple, or my favourite, filling a donation jar (proceeds go to charity, not to honeymoon).

In this case, it was all about the songs, since nobody through the night could come up with any stories they could tell in public. The thing you should know about Newfoundlanders, as there were more than 100 in attendance, is that they're not afraid to sing. Also, that they'll blow you away as they belt out local folk songs, making it terribly difficult to muster up the courage to take the mic yourself. (We didn’t, but there's a story anyway.)

The Lovely Wife and I managed to get seated with the second of two tables of "work folks" in attendance, fortunately a fun-loving and well-lubricated group of folks who would do their best to rise to the challenge of coming up with a song. These were folks who told stories of karaoke staff parties and circulating video evidence in the aftermath, so I had no doubt they would at some point get up to the stage and butcher some pop song containing the word "love", as per the rules of the night. The two tables of work people tossed ideas back and forth, but for the most part, nobody could get past the chorus of any one song, meaning that 12 people would be assembling onstage and singing for approximately 9 seconds. Many hits from the Beatles were thrown around, but the same problem arose each time: nobody knew any lyrics (note to self: Make first $1million inventing the Karaoke wedding).

Somebody came up with "What's Love Got to do With it?", which I pointed out was something less than romantic. And then we batted around some other love-themed songs that would be in particularly bad taste, but which nevertheless would be hilarious additions to the night's events. Songs such as:

50 Ways (To Leave Your Lover) - Paul Simon
Private Dancer - Tina Turner
Easy Lover - Phil Collins / Philip Bailey
All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You - Heart

In the end, I think they slaughtered the chorus of "Love Shack", which could possibly go in the list above, but the performance was worth the price of admission, if you ask me.

I didn't sing. I didn't dance*, either, come to think of it. I consider those my gifts to the happy couple. And to the rest of the guests.



*I also did not request the DJ to play any country music. My generosity knows no bounds, people.

Posted bythemikestand at 11:10 AM  

4 stepped up to the mike:

sween said... 12:24 PM, September 05, 2007  

Oh sweet jeebus. What's with the country music at weddings?!

I could tell stories from our wedding -- in fact, I will.

Beyond two of the three songs we requested for the three set dances at the beginning (yes, I said two of the three) they played NONE of the music we did request and much... MUCH of the music that we specifically asked them not to play. Like country. And Celine.

If I wasn't seriously tripping out on the fact that I was actually married, we may not have paid the DJ for their total disregard.

Ow. My ulcer...

Megan said... 1:12 AM, September 06, 2007  

Oh man, I really hate those weddings. Thankfully, that doesn't really seem to happen in France. ONe wedding I went to where you had to sing a Love song, only one table did it and it was cringe worthy.

Steph said... 11:27 AM, September 06, 2007  

You obviously didn't know my Make-Out Barbie.

Lisa said... 4:27 PM, September 18, 2007  

Funny. One of my family friends wanted to sing at our reception, and I stupidly said yes. And then he instructed that I bring a tv so he can karaoke. I refused. So he brought his own tv. I wanted to die.

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