The one where I tell the best and worst cemetery jokes, and they are one in the same.

Last night, The Lovely Wife relates this story to me (paraphrased, since I only half pay attention to her when I'm Facebooking and through my peripheral vision watching her flip between the NHL Playoffs and So You Think You Can Dance, the latter of which seemed more interesting last night and don't you dare tell anyone I said that.):

So, [Older Son] asks me yesterday as we're driving to the Old Bridge,

"Mommy, who lives in graveyards?"

And I just about had a heart attack. Great. How am I going to explain to a three year old the intricacies of life and death and how people will eventually disappear from your life forever?

So, I say with some trepidation, "[Older Son], cemeteries are for people who are no longer with us."

And he says, "No, mommy. GHOSTS live in cemeteries!"



Which, of course, comes directly from the two hallowe'en books that never seem to go out of season in his personal library.

He later asked the same question of The Grammie, but this time formulated it thus: "Grammie, do you know who lives in cemeteries?", allowing Grammie to play along and avoid ethereal discussions about mortality and impermanence.


Oh, so you want to know my joke? Here goes. This only works when you're a dad, and you've got a pile of kids in the back seat who will groan when they hear the punchline.

"Hey, kids! See that cemetery? Know how many people are dead in there? ALL OF THEM!"

Told ya.

Posted bythemikestand at 1:18 PM  

8 stepped up to the mike:

The Ninja Knitter said... 4:13 PM, June 07, 2007  

Oh man, what *is* it with guys and cemetary jokes? I can't drive past one without my husband cracking one old chestnut or another - "That's the Dead Centre of town!" or "Wow, I hear people are just dying to get in there."

I live in fear that Mr. Munchkin will someday start spouting off cemetary jokes.

Yeesh. Men. What, is it attached to the Y chromosome or something?

Candy said... 4:21 PM, June 07, 2007  

Wow I was so going to use the same joke. I feel so...inadequate now.

themikestand said... 4:24 PM, June 07, 2007  

TNK: Those are AWESOME. Fear not, I won't take credit for them when I get a chance to retell.

Candy: Apparently there are others, and apparently there are no good ones. (?)

jenny said... 8:15 PM, June 07, 2007  

this kind of reminds me of the story my sister-in-law told me about my nephew. they live by a cemetery and for about 6 months straight when he was 3, every time they drove by it he would say, "mom! it's a cemetery. hey mom - is that a cemetery? mom, are we driving by the cemetery? mom, we're going past the cemetery now."

there's no punchline, except that my sister-in-law almost had to be committed by month 6.

Sassy said... 8:20 PM, June 07, 2007  

dude, my dad uses that same joke. that one and "Why are cemetaries so crowded? Give up? Becuase people are DYING to get in!"

har har har

Charlatan said... 11:36 PM, June 07, 2007  

My Dad used to point at the graveyard as we'd drive by and say, "People are just dying to get in there..."

I now use that joke with my kids, all the time. They just roll their eyes.

Traditions can be a good thing.

SRH said... 1:05 AM, June 08, 2007  

These are all bad jokes. Just plain bad.

themikestand said... 6:10 AM, June 08, 2007  

srh: Does that mean you won't be using any of those jokes? :)

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