Lying in the Bed He's Made

I have mentioned before that The Toddler is a big sleeper. I wanted to investigate where he got this habit from with his mother, but all I could get out of her was "zzzzz" and "mmmmrflgrrrb".

Yesterday, I took not more than two steps inside the Toddler's room and he demanded I get out. Apparently, he knew the jig was up, and though he'd been in bed for close to 11 hours -- sleeping for only nine of those hours -- he was in no mood to be rousted out of his bed. Also appparently, turning the age of 3 signals the return of the crying, only now it's even louder. We're back in Instant Meltdown Land, and let me tell you, it's like a Dream Vacation to Mexico with all the free contaminated water you can stomach (pun intended).

I begrudgingly left the bedroom, and resumed with the morning routine. Needing something from my bedroom, I took one step into the hallway to see him standing wearily in his doorway. Moving closer, I was once again regailed with the chorus from "DADDY STOP! DON'T COME HERE! STOPSTOPSTOPWAHHHHHHH!". I would later figure out that he needed to use the washroom and had every intention of going straight back to bed. Seriously.

I'm trying to be understanding about this, giving him some extra time to get up and moving in the morning, but no amount of warning, prepping, or nudging seems to work. What's next? Tinfoil on the windows?

In other behavioural news, The Toddler is now a world-class fibber. I walked away from the dinner table last night to fetch something for Younger Son (I was on the hunt for some more GAHHH!, if you must know), and when I came back, The Toddler was coming down from a standing position on his chair and there was a very clear fingerprint in the butter dish. When queried, The Toddler denied having taken a large scoop of butter and ingesting it. I pressured. Actually, I pried. Literally. And I retrieved a tablespoon-sized blob of butter from his mouth.

"What's this?"
"Yogurt."
"Where'd you get it?"
[silence]

Up until now, The Toddler was a faithful, often self-incriminating truth-teller. I suppose the bright side of all of this (other than the joys of a kid hopped up on saturated fat) is that he'll be coming up with some brilliant stories to share.


EDIT: I wonder if I'll get bonus points from Stacy for the near-Tragically Hip reference in the title.

Posted bythemikestand at 9:34 AM  

9 stepped up to the mike:

Alison said... 11:45 AM, March 22, 2007  

I told you! I did, didn't I? That's exactly what seemed to happen overnight for us at three. Instant meltdown if you just breathed at The Boy the wrong way. Actually, you didn't even need to breath at him. Sadly, we had it all without the staying in bed for 11 hours. We were lucky if he stayed there for 5.

kris said... 11:49 AM, March 22, 2007  

Forget 3. These sound like the very same behaviors I manifest at 33 . . .

Steph said... 12:31 PM, March 22, 2007  

Heh heh. Eating butter and fibbing about it. I remember doing that as a kid.

Good times.

SRH said... 1:34 PM, March 22, 2007  

Yeah, whoever said the "terrible twos" were bad, never had to deal with the "F***ing threes."

Megan said... 2:49 AM, March 23, 2007  

Haha. Is he 3 or 13?
I guess kids get to a point where they need to test your authority. And then it endures for the next 15 years. Enjoy

Lesley said... 11:34 AM, March 23, 2007  

Oh Mike...we tried to warn you.
Ah, but just think of the stories you'll have to tell at his wedding!
(As for the lying thing, totally typical behaviour, just keep calling him on it and it'll stop...sometime in the next 15-20 years).

chRistine said... 4:50 PM, March 23, 2007  

lying drives me nuts. it does. i confess. what i hate worse than "who ate this butter" and receiving a round of "not me" is when i hear at the school that bob is a world renowned soccer player and that we only live here because of his contract to play soccer for toronto. two of our children seldom lie, and one lies so much that he creates an alternative universe to live in. excellent!

Monique said... 12:12 AM, March 31, 2007  

When a child is 3 it isn't a lie. It is called MAGICAL THINKING. *I think it is this way so it must be true!* http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,3901,00.html A 3 three year old is way too young for the age of reason. A 10 year old saying these same things is fibbing.

-Monique

themikestand said... 8:59 AM, April 02, 2007  

Monique: While I would usually hesitate to disagree with social-theory leaders that in some small way influenced the way that I was reared (with the exception of that Baby Whisperer know-it-all), I'm here to tell you that this toddler knew exactly what was in the butter dish, knew he shouldn't be eating gobs of it, and was desperately trying to figure out how to evade punishment. And he did it again last night.

In other words... if it quacks like a duck... (but thanks for offering that up.)

I'll add that I think it's a spectacular bit of reasoning to claim it was yogurt, being that the two tubs look at least a little similar.

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