The eaglet has landed

I don't recall at what point in his tiny life The Toddler became really vocal about his desires and dislikes, but I have a feeling Younger Son has advanced to this stage more quickly, likely due to the fact that he needs to communicate things like "Milk, you idiot! I'm out of milk! Open your eyes, Daddy!", and "get OFF me you doofus!" to his brother.

And so his first sounds, a quite defined "gah" and "da, da, da" (Just need to teach him the "de do-do-do" and my dream of starting a Police cover band will be realized) have rapidly become louder and louder, now sounding more like GAHHHH!, GAHHHHH! -- the same strategy employed when speaking with someone who doesn't understand English: You speak SLOWER. AND. LOUDER.

And the screeching. Oh my god the screeching. If I thought this would last a very long time (god help me), I would definitely change his moniker to 'the eaglet', since it sounds like someone is torturing a large bird of prey in our kitchen every meal, including breakfast when The Lovely Wife is desperately trying to cling to ten more minutes of shut-eye while I make coffee, oatmeal, and begin the process of indirectly decorating the floor with soggy corn bran squares.

It's not all bad, though. Since the pipes have developed, we how have a system whereby we no longer have to watch the two of them like hawks (no pun intended) at all times, allowing us to actually have a conversation or cook a meal together.

Behold, The New Strategy

  • Both kids quiet: Possibly dangerous situation. Stand by for 2 minutes and check in if status does not change.

  • One short, loud screech: Stand by. Younger Son is expressing his displeasure. Situation may resolve itself.

  • Several loud screeches: Immediate intervention -- possible hostage and/or detention situation. Time-out imminent.

  • One short, muffled screech: The Toddler has covered Younger Son with a blanket. Wait for signal of resolution for 10 seconds, then intervene.

  • Long screech followed by Toddler crying: Unless Toddler crying continues, no intervention necessary. Retaliation from Toddler getting "all up in his grill".

Of course, all bets are off if screeching is followed by a slamming door. Younger son has an affinity for playing with doors, and neither can be trusted behind a closed door. But everybody's teaching, and everybody's learning, so it's all good.

As much as I like the simplicity of his vocabulary, I do hope he'll pick up another word or two in the near future. I'll be especially impressed if they don't include "let me the HELL out of this cupboard".

Posted bythemikestand at 7:07 AM  

10 stepped up to the mike:

kris said... 10:37 AM, March 06, 2007  

Sweet Lord. I'm quite sure the "GAH" means he's channeling none other than Stacy.

FrozenExtremities said... 11:03 AM, March 06, 2007  

Ah, the toddler screech. That's always fun when they learn that sound. And they USE it.

canadian sadie said... 12:31 PM, March 06, 2007  

I've managed to maintain my screech well into my 30s. I find it useful in situations of impending doom, or imminent danger. I can't find the words sometimes, but AAAAAAH!!!! has never failed me yet.

Crunchy Carpets said... 1:27 PM, March 06, 2007  

LMAO!!! As our no. 2 got older we were begging her to use her words.
And now she does...JUST REALLY LOUDLY! Even at 6 am when everyone else is asleep!

'MA MA! DOGGY SLEEP? ABAM SLEEP? DADDY SLEEP???

Not anymore dear.

Steph said... 3:54 PM, March 06, 2007  

Ah, the pterodactyl (sp?) shriek of the pre-conversational child. It's not unlike the screams you hear in metal music these days - only a higher pitch.

Perhaps it's not a Police cover band you should be thinking about but a speed-metal band?

Dustin said... 3:41 AM, March 07, 2007  

I'm having GPS units installed in my children at birth. Technology will do my parenting for me, thank you very much.

themikestand said... 8:56 AM, March 07, 2007  

kris: If that's true, I may be in more trouble than I first imagined.

frozenextremities: Oh, yes, he makes good use of it. Truthfully, I didn't mention the whining he does as well. I seriously can't wait for this kid to talk.

sadie: do you use it at the bar when you need a refill? I'd like to see that.

crunchy: Nothing pisses Younger Son off more than his brother sleeping-in. I can't decide if it's divine irony, or darwin at work.

Steph: That is the very same shriek. And thanks for the tip. I'll see if my brother's metal band needs a backup screecher.

dustin: Better have that gps hooked up to a robot, or at least a remote electrical-shock delivery system. Hmm... if this works out, I could be a millionaire. Or a convict.

chRistine said... 3:00 PM, March 07, 2007  

i have often commented (often in jest) that those dog-barking collars would work well with our boys. hitting your brother? *zap* mouthing back at me? *zap* of course, it probably doesn't meet CAS guidelines, and seeing as I'm raising "somebody else's child" it probably wouldn't meet hers, either.

Megan said... 3:37 PM, March 07, 2007  

My mom always joked how new moms are always so excited for their baby to say "mommy" for the first time. Then for the next fifteen+ years it is the "mommmmmmm!" screech from the other side of the house.
That being said I don't think you would trade either of them for peace and quiet now would you? :)

Lesley said... 4:45 PM, March 07, 2007  

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over my toddler's constant chatter

"Mum! What da kitty doing? Mum! Where ma sockeys? Sfionn, NOOOOO! NOOOOOOO! Cat! Down Cat! Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? You knit? Mommy? You knit? I knit Mommy? I knit?? MOOOMMMMEEEEEEE"

followed by "My daddy home? I luf the daddy."

How I miss the screech.

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