The Revelation of Mike

Over the holidays, several things occurred to me -- either through my own experience over-imbibing, enjoying time off, or, to step all over the bibilical title reference, through the eyes of a child. They are:

1. Santa can come off as a big jerk: When The Toddler woke up on Christmas morning, he glanced at his overfilled stocking (hung by the chimney, natch), and immediately cast his attention to the empty cookie plate and milk glass, exclaiming, "SANTA ATE ALL MY COOKIES AND DRANK ALL MY MILK!".

2. Karma is a double-edged sword: On the 23rd, the Brother in Law and I went to purchase day passes at a local fitness club. The very nice girl behind the counter informed us that if we had brought a donation from the food bank, we could get in for free. She glanced down, then back up at us, and said she would pretend we had done so. After our free workout, we visited the corner store and dropped some foodstuffs off at the fitness club, and were rewarded with two-week passes, though we were only expecting a day pass. We managed to use it once more before the New Year, likely working out beyond our regular limits, and now my comfortable abdominal region curses me every time I laugh, sneeze, or cough.

3. Having family over for extended periods is a lot like being on an all inclusive resort: After four or five days, you no longer want to look at booze or copious quantities of food you shouldn't be eating in the first place. (The remainder of that delicious 8" shortbread wheel, I'm looking at you.)

4. It's easy to blog out of both sides of your mouth: To wit, I very much enjoyed a New Year's Eve dinner outing with family, complete with roasted duck, thai chicken hot & sour soup, and several bottles of Chianti (on the table, not consumed by yours truly). The event of midnight passed virtually unnoticed, as we left the restaurant at 11:43, chauffeured home by The Lovely Wife's father.

5. There's simple way to calculate your Bonehead Score on any given evening: take the number of times you can regret saying something to somebody and subtract the number of times you didn't tell somebody to go off and do something anatomically impossible. And that's all I'm saying about that.

Posted bythemikestand at 9:33 AM  

6 stepped up to the mike:

Edge said... 5:00 PM, January 02, 2007  

All I can say is, "That's funny."


jess said... 12:20 AM, January 03, 2007  

Happy new year to you.

themikestand said... 8:23 AM, January 03, 2007  

Thanks, guys! Happy new year to you, too.

The Expat said... 9:42 PM, January 03, 2007  

Jeez... if you don't want Santa to eat your milk and cookies, don't leave them out where the fat man can get them...

I guess some people never learn, cause Santa drank the beer we left for him.

Happy New Year!

guinness girl said... 5:35 PM, January 04, 2007  

"Santa drank all my milk and ate all my cookies" - I might die of the cuteness, right here at my desk. Happy new year!

Christine said... 10:27 AM, January 06, 2007  

happy new year, and thanks for sharing the bit about the cookies. children provide such an interesting view on life.

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