Scene from the Walk-in Clinic

Or I think It's His Lung!

Mike goes into the walk-in medical clinic for the second time in a week, to get a second opinion on his chest cold that is now entering its fifth week of residence in his lungs. Last week, the doctor pronounced a bout of 'viral bronchitis', which he's never had, but wrote a prescription anyway and said it would do no good, so to feel no need to fill it. (Go figure).

Today, Mike waits his turn in the busy waiting room (reading no magazines, oh no). After bein called, he sits down and tries unsuccessfully not to cough up a lung. Sometime later the doctor enters.

Dr: How are you?
Mike: Other than the chest cold? Fine

D: Ah, yes. The cough.
Mike: I've had it for a while. I came in last week and spoke with Dr. XYZ about it and she couldn't diagnose a bacterial infection, but my wife and father in law have something similar.

D: Open wide [wields tongue depressor; shines light thing] Should stop smoking the joint.
Mike: Uhh, excuse me?

D: You smoke the joint?
M: Uh, no.

D: I can smell it on you.
M: I don't know what it is. I went for a walk. Maybe sweat?

D: Strange.
M: YES.

D: You smoke?
M: Nope.

D: Never?
M: Never.

D: Hmm.. Okay. What health plan you on?
M: [name of my health plan]

D: Good. I give you puffer, and antibiotics. The pharmacy should teach you how to use the puffer. You charge it and take a BIG suck in.
M: Right. My wife's asthmatic, so she could probably teach me, but I'll ask the pharmacy.

D: Hope you feel better.
M: Me, too. Thanks.

In hindsight, he probably was taking one more crack at my apparent "chronic" denial when he was telling me how to take a big "hit" of the inhaler he was prescribing.

/end scene



Day 29

Posted bythemikestand at 9:13 AM  

8 stepped up to the mike:

Sassy said... 10:37 AM, November 29, 2006  

OMG...that is HILARIOUS. "You smoke the joint"

Classic. Nearly choked on my bagel.

SRH said... 12:02 PM, November 29, 2006  

I always thought you were a burner.

You smoke the joint?
No
Denial, the first symptom...

Megan said... 2:05 AM, November 30, 2006  

Haha. Gotta love doctors.
Hope you feel better.

Dustin said... 2:38 AM, November 30, 2006  

You sooooo got racially profiled. =)

Steph said... 12:33 PM, November 30, 2006  

Were you, by any chance, at the Dartmouth Medical Centre on Portland Street?

Anonymous said... 6:18 PM, November 30, 2006  

You know....if it were myself...I'd be having that dr up in front of an ethics board. But that's just me and a childhood spent hearing about incidents involving drs who are too big for their britches, and not being held accountable for insensitivity because patients tend to think that drs are to be regarded as better than us mere mortals. But that is just me :)

Anonymous said... 9:38 PM, November 30, 2006  

that's almost as good as the one where the doctor asks the woman, during her YEARLY, 'How's the taco?' and when she says, "what?" he replies, 'HOW'S THE TACO??' louder and slower for her.

-LGirl- said... 10:04 AM, December 02, 2006  

Maybe he wanted your Dealer's number?

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