Hut One, Hut Two, Amen

Today marks the 388th celebration of Thanksgiving in the United States. Back in the day, you were thankful to God, and to the Native Americans who taught you how to survive in that wild, dangerous country. Little did they know the country would become much more challenging for them in the next 300 years, what with all the sickness, disease, and the scourge of racial intolerance.

And as Canadians all look at each other and say “been there, done that weeks ago” as we do every year, we eagerly await the 4th Thursday in November every year anyway, because we know you'll have a grand time.

We know that you’ll all be sitting on your respective couches and easy chairs, smelling the sweet succulent smells of recently terrified turkeys emanating from your kitchens, your mouths salivating over dishes of baked complex carbohydrates and the promise of at least two pieces of pumpkin pie if Uncle Larry doesn’t hog it all for himself. Frankly, the gourds should be equally afraid.

Then there's the football. And the shopping. If you’re not outside trying to reclaim your adolescence with your “boyz” playing touch/tackle/emergency room football, tempting fate and cardiac-arrest, you’ll be scarfing back Doritos in front of overpriced, oversized televisions, and wondering how much money you’ll spend on Black Friday while still not getting all your Christmas shopping done and likely not getting that Playstation 3 that little Frankie (your neice, your inner adolescent…) reallyreallyreally wants. Relax, there’s always eBay.

You'll give thanks for all good things in your lives: family, food, jobs, health, the absence of large-scale natural disasters, and the laws of conservation of marriage in Celebrity Live (the pending divorce of K-Fed and Britney making up for the TomKat nuptials). Tomorrow you'll forget all about that stuff as you push and muscle your way into to the shops because really, does she need to be looking at ALL the dresses on that rack at the same time, and who does she think she's kidding by shopping in the "petites" section anyway? Your pocketbooks will suffer, but the Gap and Target will be eternally thankful (or at least until the 3rd quarter numbers are in).

Of course, you who aren't in retail have a four-day weekend unless you've squandered all your vacation days away again this year, so god only knows what you'll find to do on Saturday and Sunday (duh. Saturday is College football and Sunday is NFL all over again!). And really, if food, family, shopping and football aren't testaments to what we should all be thankful for, then what the hell is?

Happy Thanksgiving, America. We'll see you all again on Monday*.

*except for you NaBloPoMo-ers who'll have LOTS of extra time to think up magnificent posts for the final 7 days of November.

Day 23

Posted bythemikestand at 12:13 AM  

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