The Summer House

Having received the keys, signed the paperwork, and taken out a more-than-I’m-comfortable-with sized line of credit for bridge financing (aside: is it called that because I could buy a bridge with this much money?), we began moving into our new house yesterday. Last week, and in those few moments where you actually have a smidgen of energy at night, was spent packing up our house into creatively-named boxes (one was labelled “Bread Mats”. Later that same day we couldn’t decipher that one.) which were then moved into the basement.

It feels in so many ways like we’re living at the cottage. Well, we don’t actually have a cottage, so it’s as if we’re pretending to be at the cottage. Having packed most of the essentials, we’re left with the plastic cups, about four plates and bowls, three spices (one of which turned out to be sesame seeds in an old “Greek Seasoning” jar), and you’ve got about a 30% chance that whatever cupboard you open will actually have something in it. Old Mother Hubbard would be right at home in our house right now. Also, the humidity is insane this summer (the dehumidifier fills up its gallon jug in under a day), the heat sweltering, and these things are popping up everywhere. Yes, earwigs. The bane of our married existence and my new raison d’être (the smooshing and disposing thereof, naturally). We used to only find them in the garden, munching away on our beans and thwarting last summer’s futile attempt at growing spinach. Aside: Maybe that’s what made them stronger. They’re POPEYE EARWIGS! Run for your life! They also like to play on the Toddler’s climbing apparatus in the backyard – probably training for the earwig games or something. But now that our windows are blown open 100% of the time, and often the doors are wide open, the proverbial welcome mat is out.

The little beasties have shown up on the walls, in the shower (you may all sigh a collective EWWWW now), on the bathroom floor, and just yesterday The Lovely Wife claims to have evicted one from the bedroom. THE BEDROOM, PEOPLE! It has occurred to me that if she learns to deal with them herself, my meal ticket may disappear completely. But I have to wonder if the little creepy-crawlies are mounting an offensive. Are they telling us something? Are they telling us in no uncertain terms that no, it is NOT okay to let the housecleaning slip for a couple weeks because you’ll be doing a major clean before the new owners take possession of the house? And furthermore, will they still be hanging around when the new owners do their final walk-through, only to leap out from behind the splash guard and say “OOGILYBOOGILY” (or whatever they as their first audible words) and cause the house deal to come crashing down like a house of cards?

And what is my alternative? Seal up the house this weekend after the movers have left and hope to sweat them out? Surely they can stand it if I can. Maybe I should just make friends with them – offer them some of the food we’re not planning to take with us. Open up the compost bin for them. I confess, that lid might be a little tricky for those little guys. I just don’t see any possibility of a truce.

And I hope to any and all deities paying attention that the new house doesn’t have the same affliction. Otherwise we’re just selling that house, too, and living in a tent. Or under that bridge.

Update: I just read this on the site linked above, and I'm not sure this makes me feel any better.

"Earwigs rarely fly and are unable to crawl long distances,
but often hitchhike in laundry baskets, cut flowers, luggage, newspapers,
lumber, baskets of fruits and vegetables, automobiles,
etc. "

Automobiles. Sigh. Today they hitchhike. Tomorrow? They'll be driving. I'd better take the long way to the new house.

Posted bythemikestand at 9:17 AM  

6 stepped up to the mike:

Brianna said... 11:11 AM, August 01, 2006  

gah. HATE these bugs. i think they make me more queasy then other bugs cause the're called EARwigs and they have pinchers so i picture them crawling into my ear at nigh and biting me. this little visual will probalby not help you to feel better abou the situation... sorry.

Dustin said... 4:18 PM, August 01, 2006  

WTF. "laundry baskets..." How random is that?

You know what I recommend if you really want to to stick it to'em (pun intended, you'll get it in a second), use those glue traps they sell for mice. I can't tell you how many spiders and roaches I snagged with the ones I was leaving out for the mice.

Just don't let the kids get into them.

themikestand said... 4:22 PM, August 01, 2006  

brianna: unfounded folklore! (the ear part) Thank goodness. Still... ick.

dustin: "get into" what? The stuck-bugs and other creatures? That kind of entertainment might be just the ticket to keep them quiet and/or busy. Also, ROACHES? Another reason I love where I live. No roaches.

Jessica said... 2:26 AM, August 02, 2006  

Good luck, Mike - I always say that I would rather scrape my face off than move.

Christine said... 8:52 AM, August 02, 2006  

actually, dustin: laundry baskets. i'll be outside hanging laundry, fresh from the automatic washing machine that was FILLED with hot soapy water, and guaranteed i will find at least one earwig in the basket while outside. it is like the little buggers have radar for laundry baskets, or clean laundry, or something.. i swear, all i do is carry it from the basement to the backyard. i've never seen an earwig in the house, and seldom see them while i'm outside, except when i'm doing laundry.

yuck. time to do laundry..

Dustin said... 9:59 AM, August 03, 2006  

Well I'll be...I stand corrected. Thanks Christine.

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