Matters of Perspective

This is the exchange that took place in front of the refrigerator yesterday:

Lovely, Overly Pregnant Wife: Oooh, baked potatoes. Do we have any sour cream?
Me: I think so...let me check {opening refrigerator, retrieving suspicious contatiner}
LOPW: Well?
Me: Yup, there's a little left. Better check to see if it's still good, though. {peeking inside container}
LOPW: Hey, only 6 days past its best before date. {pause} Huh. What else is new?

---------

Today we go to "the 7th Floor" -- if you're over 35 and pregnant, or are having complications with your pregnancy in this part of the world, you know what the "7th Floor" means. You really dont even have to say which hospital; people in the know instantly figure out what you're talking about.

At the 7th Floor, you get a real ultrasound -- not the 8 minute cold-gel-on-the-tummy and rooting around to find the head, lips, heart, diaphragm, femur, and other measurables they use to categorize your fetus and retool your due date. At the 7th Floor, there's a chance they'll actually tell you the gender of your baby if you want to know - something that doesn't happen with the usual 14-week ultrasound. We discussed the possibility of finding out the gender, but I'd rather wait for the surprise.

They -may- also provide you with a printout of your ultrasound. Just like you see on TV, and in more civilized, non-cheapskate, socialist societies. Here, you get nothing. See your baby? HAHA, we can't tell you the gender or offer you a printout. Sorry, no pictures. Put that video camera away. And give me that sketch pad!

The reason we're going to the 7th Floor is because the doctors don't like to let you go more than 10 days past your due date, which technically would be the 25th. There's talk of induction, which wouldn't be the preferable way to get this child out, but would be the only thing left (short of C-section, which is an uncommon elective in these parts).

I swear, I did NOT consider the possibility of a Christmas Day birth when this whole thing was orchestrated in March. But, like most men, I probably wasn't thinking at all.

Stay tuned. It's gotta happen sooner or later.

Posted bythemikestand at 11:04 AM  

1 stepped up to the mike:

sween said... 12:00 PM, December 22, 2005  

Would you guys hurry up already! Dammit!

Post a Comment